I need to write pretty frankly to anyone who may ever come upon these writings to know that, no matter how dark and fucked up the shit I write here may get, I truly am okay. No matter what. I really do mean that — I see artistic value in the extreme depths of sorrow I am capable of. However, no matter how turbulent the waters are, I feel adept in navigating them. I am a water man, I’m a swimmer, I dive in the ocean regularly and embrace the chaos.

My writing is similar. I embrace my emotional currents similarly. I have no genuine desire to commit suicide, nor to die. I need to make that very, very clear. I truly am okay. I still wake up everyday and do my absolute best. I joke, I laugh, I sing at the top of my lungs, I do things that make me happy. I have genuine and real support from those around me who love me. I experience deep joy, gratitude, wonder, and love, still, on a daily basis.

Things aren’t always easy, nor are they always completely calm. They rarely are. However, no matter the storm I am weathering, I still identify with that still center — the eye of the storm, the Atman, Polaris.

Truly, even if I’m not okay, I’m always okay.