No,

I refuse to grow up. 

I simply refuse. 

I will forever remain as a child, 

A youth. 

For all I wish to do is play!

I refuse to let myself

Be anguished and burdened

By anguish and burdens.

I will fly,

How high will I fly!

Where is the line,

between transcendence

And dissociation?

It appears…

Grey.

Ambiguous

Paint splotches bleeding

I think I have veins that extend

Into both.

But,

I’m sorry,

For not being sorry:

The trickster is the shaman

The shaman is the trickster.

The mystic is the jester,

And I can’t stop jesting!

What liberation

What perspective

What freedom exists

In the grand joke of life?

The punchline is behind the curtain

Like Deadpool do I break the fourth wall

The death of the third dimension

And impossible shapes, impossible cubes

Tesseracts unfold

And I dance!

I dance!

I dance!

People wonder why I,

In sobriety,

Am the freest on the dance floor — 

A misconception that is.

“Dance floor”?

Like beauty, dance floors 

are in the eye of the beholder.

My entire life is one great dance,

I’ll never stop spinning,

Whirling dervish!

Ecstatic dances abound, abound, abound,

Every soul I meet is my dance partner!

Sobriety, too — 

How can that be defined,

When I am constantly drunk 

On the Wine

Of that Spirit

Who fuels me

And I sip,

Oh, do I sip,

On spirits,

Omnipresent

Ether,

Ether,

Ether,

I kiss thee;

I’d give up my mortality

To know thee

Can you hear me?

For I hear you

In car alarms

In my racking sobs

In hoots and hollers from the drunks

I will live,

Forever,

I am sure of it,

For I’ve already died

I’ve already died unto that which dies

And I recognize my fundamental lack of identity

Therefore,

If I’ve already dissolved into the whole

If with the Earth 

The Cosmos

Do I find my identity

How can I die?

I will simply merge.

I will be resorbed unto that which birthed me — 

Devouring Mother — 

Bones crunching in her teeth,

I squeal in delight!