The coming chapters will be very difficult to chart out chronologically. There may be quite a few jumps through time.

I will simply let the words meet the page as they wish. 

So, I made it clear in the previous chapter that I was not convinced as of yet that what was happening to me existed beyond the subjective realm of my own psyche. The experiences were profound, of course, but as of yet, they were entirely personal. I did not believe that the “energy” I was seeing had any sort of objective existence. I did not believe that any sort of real, hidden information was being relayed to me through this “activated sense.”

Things began to change when I had numerous experiences in which the objective realm of fact and reality corresponded with what seemed at first to only be within the subjective realm of my perception.

I’ll simply explain through anecdote.

I remember one “fateful night,” as is often said for dramatic effect, when I began to see that the electric sensations I was experiencing and feeling throughout my body could interact with the world — and people — around me.

I was parked outside of my friend Nathan’s house with him and our friend Ren in my car. We were listening to music and smoking weed. I noticed that I could enter those heightened spiritual states much more easily with the use of cannabis. (For the record, over time, the heightening effect became too great, and I no longer needed substances to enter those spiritual states of mind. I’ve been sober for a long time.)

Ren had already been filled in with what was happening to me. He was already an open and spiritual type of guy, and was receptive to what I had reported to him about kundalini. Nathan had not been updated as of yet.

Ren was with me in the front seat. I have no idea where I got this idea from — intuition? A gut feeling? I do not know. But I let him know that I wanted to try to see if I could get him to feel the electricity, too. I asked him to hold his arm out.

I extended my hand over his forearm and began to focus very hard. I felt the electricity crawl up my spine. I began to will it to move into my arm. I literally physically felt it moving where I willed it to, a trickle of tingling energy crawling. I felt it moving up my back, down my arm, and into my hand. And then, I willed for it to move out of me and towards Ren. This is.. bizarre, but it was as if I could extend my own aura into the field of energy around me. I could act on his energetic field as it blended into my own. I willed the electricity into his arm. After many moments of silence, he reported to feel the sensation right when I could perceive it leaving my hand and going into him. 

I was pleased, but not satisfied. Nathan wanted to be filled in on what was happening. I decided to conduct an experiment to weigh what was happening against the obvious possibility of the placebo effect being active with Ren — he knew what to expect. It wasn’t enough.

I told Nathan to extend his arm out and close his eyes. I instructed him to — based on sensations in his arm — point out where I was holding my finger. 

I held out my hand and restarted the process with Nathan. I held out my finger over a very specific part of his forearm. As soon as I felt the electricity leave me, he pointed right where my finger was. I told him I was going to move again, and did. As soon as I felt the electricity leave again, he pointed exactly where I had moved it. 

I needed to confirm his eyes were actually closed. I asked Ren to put his hand over Nathan’s eyes. I repeated the experiment several more times, and each time, Nathan was able to point where my finger had moved. I was stunned. I kept confirming and checking myself that there was no way that Nathan could see my hands — were Ren’s fingers closed tight? Was Nathan able to peek? I kept confirming that there was no way for Nathan to see my hand, and he was still able to confirm where I had moved my hand based on sensation alone.

At the time, that was enough for me. I was convinced that this force of energy that was circulating through my being had an objective existence. This… was groundbreaking. This was a fundamental shift in how I perceived reality, a fundamental shift in what I perceived the laws of reality to be. This was beginning to come close to actual magic, to the actual existence of something very real and spiritual. 

Of course, now, that would not have been enough for me to fully believe yet. 18-year-old me, however, was sold and continued to have experiences of equal and greater magnitude (that would have been enough for my ever-so-slightly more adult 23-year-old mind now). 

I began to regularly hang out with my friends Ren and our mutual Sophia. We would, every single time we hung out, smoke quite a bit of cannabis and then meditate. We would practice energy healing time and time again. 

Things were becoming… rather amazing. 

During our energy healing sessions, I began to experience a new influx of energy. Whereas before, the healing energy that I had tapped into seemed to originate at the base of my spine to spread throughout the rest of the vessel, I now felt it coming in from a different direction: above. 

Yes. I would now meditate, and… I do not know when it began, but I began to be able to… will an energy down from what felt like the heavens. It felt very similar to the energy that originated at my spine’s base, except it would come down through the crown of my head. It felt like… pure bliss. It felt like I would begin to channel an energy of pure love, happiness, and absolute goodwill, and that I could direct it both into myself and into others if I had tried to channel it similarly to how I did in the car with Nathan and Ren.

So, Ren, Sophia, and I began to experiment. We would sit in circles and meditate, experimenting with energy transfer. 

There were still yet more bizarre instances of coincidence between my own subjective realm of experience and the objective world around me — or, perhaps that is better phrased as saying the unspoken subjective realm of my inner experience began to coincide and synchronize with the reported subjective realm of other people’s inner experience. 

That is to say, when I began to practice that different type of energy channeling with others, my experience would usually be as follows:

I would sit, and begin contracting this hidden, non-physical muscle that would create this strange feeling of overwhelming bliss and love within me. I would see a very bright white light on my eyelids. I would perceive some ray of light pouring down from far above me. It, on the back of my eyelids, seemed to consist of the same “energy particles” that I would see with my eyes open as auras. 

So, again: there would be a very bright white light and a feeling of great bliss and love. I would feel a tingling sensation throughout my body and very frequently on the crown of my head. I would direct it towards others, and then,

Sophia, for example, would also report seeing a very bright white light on her eyelids — and this would happen without me saying that I was seeing a bright white light, nor that I tended to see bright white light when I was energy healing. She would also feel tingling sensations throughout the body. 

Even more fascinating, what began to happen to not only her, but even others down the line that I would practice this form of energy healing with, is that the same effects that that kundalini energy had on me at the very beginning of it all — namely emotional catharsis, sped-up spiritual evolution, and activation of higher faculties of perception — would occur in them. That is to say that the people I practiced this on would experience release of emotional blockages as I did, with a feeling of love coming to replace it. They would have spiritual and psychic events, as I did, and so on. 

I need to make something clear — I am 23 now, five years down the line after all of this began. They never stopped. The aforementioned is all at the absolute infancy of the awakening. There is so much more to report (and so much more, I’m sure, to come).