Siddhartha, pg. 32-33. On seeing divinity in all things:

“River was river, and if the One and Divine in Siddhartha secretly lived in blue and river, it was just the divine art and intention that there should be yellow and blue, there sky and wood — and here Siddhartha. Meaning and reality were not hidden somewhere behind things, they were in them, in all of them. 

“How deaf and stupid I have been, he thought, walking on quickly. When anyone reads anything which he wishes to study, he does not despise the letters and punctuation marks, and call them illusion, chance and worthless shells, but he reads them, he studies and loves them, letter by letter. But I, who wished to read the book of the world and the book of my own nature, did presume to despise the letters and signs. I called the world of appearances, illusion. I called my eyes and tongue, chance. Now it is over; I have awakened. I have indeed awakened and have only been born today.”

…

so much time to learn who I am. why rush into a relationship? this is my youth. so much opportunity to learn and to grow. yes, it is possible to do that with another person, and i hold no attachment to the idea of being single nor being in a relationship, though i am open to both — but this is moreso commentary on observing the limitless opportunity of my youth. it doesn’t even necessarily have to do with being single — the opportunity for self-discovery is always there — 

but perhaps there is an element of self-discovery that cannot be fully realized in a relationship, and perhaps there is an element of self-discovery that cannot be fully realized without being in a relationship. 

both are true. 

but for now?

i am young. i have so much desire to learn and explore and live. 

…

Primary theme of Siddhartha as I am seeing it right now: 

No teacher can lead someone to themself. A teacher can show you how to live; a teacher can equip you with language and templates with which one can interpret and frame the world; a teacher can do a lot of things, but what a teacher cannot do is teach you who you are. 

No spiritual teacher has a monopoly on your self-definition. No human other than you can ever be the expert on who you uniquely are — 

this is Siddhartha’s dissatisfaction with worldly teachers. His thirst is for his true self; therefore, no matter how much he sips from the cup of the teachers he comes across, his yearning will not abate unless he follows the inward path. 

In the ultimate desire for truth, it appears that one must eventually give up teachings as a whole and find the lived experience of it. his critique of worldly teachers and religious ritual appears to be that they have a preference for symbol rather than the symbolized; for language rather than that which is spoken about. the lived experience of the ultimate, however, is very very different. 

speaking of enlightenment is very different than experiencing enlightenment. it is like mercury, it seems — slippery. every time a solid definition or fixed descriptor is assigned to it, it eludes it, it slips from one’s grasp. it strangely appears that one can only hold it without a clasped hand; one can only contain it with a loose fist. 

so he leaves everything behind and follows his heart. in self-discovery, he allows himself to do the discovering.