THE CLOSET MYSTIC

Tell me of the meaning of beauty

Tell me why I see it everywhere but here

Tell me what it means to be beautiful

Tell me why I’ll never be it

Tell me why 

I’ve never let myself be known.

i don’t know if there is a self

to be known.

god made you in his image

please make me in yours.

I belong to the world.

I’ve been everybody’s—

not once my own.

It’s your gaze that matters— 

I’ll contort myself 

as you please.

I’ll set myself on fire

To know the warmth

I’ve so long desired.

There’s spiders crawling

Underneath my skin

I’ll do anything,

Anything — 

For a distraction.

I miss my suffering

I miss my pain

My oldest friend

My truest stain.