i had no innocence left

to be tainted,

but i wanted to protect yours.

i’ll never forget the pain

of watching it die.

i tried to give you

what i never had—

an older brother who was safety.

but i couldn’t save you

from them.

i couldn’t give you the Christmas

you deserved.

i couldn’t stop the waves,

couldn’t quench the flame,

couldn’t still the quake,

could not calm the hurricane.

no, 

we were cut from a tainted cloth.

i resented

watching you learn that fact.

i could see

the question in your panicked eyes,

behind the shock,

the fear, the sorrow—

the “why?”

i have no answer.

i only know

they burnt our home to the ground.

i alone

am left with ash in my hands.

i felt not a thing

when it truly did burn,

for I’d already mourned

our house long consumed by flames.