THE CLOSET MYSTIC

And now I lay here in my bed,
Reflecting on things the good Lord said.
That from now till the day I’m dead,
I’ll always receive my daily bread.
But I’m here awake and unfed,
Longing for sleep but awake instead.
Broken records play in my head,
And for them to cease I’ve dearly pled,
But to the cacophony I’m wed.

Each day begun with eyes so red,
And each day begun with limbs of lead.
Another endless day of dread,
I’ve been failed by yet another med.
I know my peace has long since fled,
I know my tires are losing tread.
And no matter the tears I shed,
This is a fate I have to accept,
In bearing pain I’ve become adept.

Unless God answered all my pleas,
By getting me to finally cease,
Taking pills to create my peace,
Granting me on life a brand new lease,
And perhaps to blame was the D3.

And to my fam’ly,
I’m not just unique —
To their “sanity,”
I’m a complete freak.

However somehow,
Their normality,
Roots me to the ground —
To reality.

Their disposition,
Is not of malice —
Though there is friction,
They provide balance.

And although sometimes,
It’s something I hate,
I’ve come to realize,
I need counterweight.

No matter how wise I feel I’ve become,

And if I feel the world I float above,

Just one glance and I remember I’m dumb —

The wise man is rendered a fool in love.

And these dams of logic built to contain,

With their towering walls terribly tall,

Are just not a match for your loving rain —

Your flood destroys them all and makes them fall.

A helpless fool carried away to sea,

It was delusion to think myself sane.

And though you have certainly set me free,

And annihilated each of my chains,

Some part of me wishes that I could flee,

Because I’ve come to see that love is pain.

But now you’re forever a part of me,

On my heart an irreversible stain —

The deeper and deeper I hold you dear,

The more and more my heart becomes exposed.

I’m slowly swallowed by more and more fear,

My heart had spent way too long being closed.

As my state of shock slowly dissipates,

I comprehend I’m the one you’ve chosen.

The flatline ends and I resuscitate,

My heart melts and is no longer frozen.

If your source of heat were to disappear,

My heart once again left without your light,

I could not go on if utmost sincere…

I think I would have to give up the fight.

Listen here now and listen intently —

I swear to you my love is forever.

And I will never love more intensely,

There exist no cutters that can sever.

Your luminous love renders me breathless,

There is no greater treasure I cherish.

My love is eternal and is deathless,

You must know that it will never perish.

Care not if away I’m being carried,

And forgive me if I speak far too bold.

But I would love for us to get married,

And for our unified hearts to grow old.

Your presence strengthens me yet makes me weak,

And I’ve never known anything more real.

And no matter how many words I speak,

I’m powerless to convey what I feel.

Your love’s imperative for survival,

A patient plugged to a ventilator.

Your love is the key to my revival,

And you are my heart’s defibrillator.

I kneel before you my queen and altar,

Elixir of life and my holy grail.

I vow now my love will never falter,

It’s invincible and will never fail.

Now my heart rests in the palm of your hand,

You’re at liberty to do as you wish.

You surround and have plucked me from the land,

You’re the ocean and I swim as the fish.

Taken by your currents at your mercy,

Your waters consist of my living womb.

Still dependent and in need of nursing,

Your love keeps me from a premature tomb.

In separating oneself from nature, mankind snips the umbilical cord between the fetus that is the inner Spirit, and the Mother that feeds us, while still in the womb.

Thus, the spirit is deprived of the nutrients it needs to develop well and healthily.

The greatest tragedy mankind faces is in staring at artificial lights dancing on a TV screen at night, instead of laying to gaze upon the infinite lights of our night skies, of the waxing and waning Moon, to gather the truth, wisdom, and stories told therein.

We, the fetuses, have snipped the umbilical cord while still being in the womb.

We must reconnect and regenerate this umbilical cord by submerging ourselves in nature and her elements if we are to save the unborn child that is our own spirits before the gestation period is over.

We’ve severed the umbilical cord and gone wireless, cordless.

These visions of AI taking over mankind have been symbolic warnings of what is right here and right now.

If you think that we haven’t already been enslaved by intelligence artificial, then you are being fooled.

those nights spent caressing your skin

I no longer need to wonder what could have been

Right here, right now, I could forever be lost in.

how can I be so intoxicated,

yet see with infinite clarity?

I am so glad that I waited —

you’re unique, special, a rarity.

those days spent admiring from afar,

I now get to express my wonder belly to belly.

oh shining star, how I wonder what you are…

your gaze makes me dissolve like jelly.

heart so pure,

of this I’m sure:

I need not be a mystic,

to look into our future.

no, I don’t need a crystal ball,

to know you could forever be my all.

when was the last time,

I felt time fly?

it should be a crime,

how fast it goes by.

lost in a trance,

feeling the ebb and flow

Of your chest dance,

and come and go.

my body pressed

all the way against yours

is simply not enough

I pretend to gaze

at the TV before us

Overcome by desperate need

On your love I need to feed

The tourniquet to my bleed

Heal the torment inside me

You’re the breath I need to breathe

Absolute pain makes me seethe

In the pit I gnash my teeth

You’re the salve to bring me peace

Yet you cannot hear my pleas

I burn yet feel my heart freeze

Love and pain

One and the same.

As I’ve come to understand,

Nothing can ever go as planned.

Has everyone conspired,

To make me feel undesired?

My love’s a sickness and you’re the nurse,

But to be deprived your care is my curse.

Love’s a terrifying beast indeed.

But once you give in, you are freed.

She’s within, planted is the seed.

Give light, on water she will feed.

Then into the skies, she will lead.

Hop on, let her be a winged steed,

The mythical Pegasus breed.

Give in. Let go. She’s all you need.

Overcome by erotic longing..

If sex is sinful, let’s get to wronging.

Your body’s mine, I’ll be hogging;

Whip my spine, get to flogging…